Saturday, March 30, 2013
Bob & Katie
Tammy, my sister, is married to a state trooper named Tim. One of the other troopers in Tim's barracks had a baby with spina bifida a month ago. Tim gave me his number so we could chat and talk about each others' experiences thus far. His name is Bob and we talked on the phone for a while, where we decided that Joe and I would come to Bob's house for lunch.
Bob's wife's name is Katie, and their one month old is named Lila. Meeting with them at their home was an incredible and invaluable experience. It turns out Bob, Katie, and Lila all had the same doctors at the same facilities Joe and I will have. So what Joe and I will be facing in a couple of weeks, they just faced a month ago. We learned so much from them! They were so informative, helpful, and caring! They showed us pictures of Lila hooked up to all the tubes and monitors so we could prepare ourselves for the really scary parts. They explained what was particularly difficult, what wasn't that bad, and what was amazing. We got to see Lila in person, where her incisions were and how everything looks when they're healing. We got to see how Bob and Katie handle her safely... How to hold her, lay her down, feed her.
But the most valuable thing we learned from them is that, yes, she has spina bifida, but she's still just another baby. After the scary stuff is over, you still take her home, you still hold her, you still feed her, change her diaper, sing her lullabies, tickle her feet, kiss her nose! We learned that she's just another baby, just like any other baby, and that spina bifida is only a very small part of the big picture... that there's so much more to focus on... that even with her conditions, life will turn into something normal again even though it feels like our lives are about to be turned upside down and inside out.
Joe and I agreed that while we are in the hospitals, we will actively make sure we remember our visit to Bob and Katie's home, and that things will be normal soon. We'll remember little Lila, and that there will be life outside of the hospitals and the surgeries and frightening experiences we'll be in the middle of. We'll remember that, like beautiful Lila, Mira will have our home to be in, and her own bed to sleep in, and a whole life waiting for her outside of the initial shock of her surgeries... That just like any other baby, there is so much more waiting! So thank you, Bob and Katie, for letting us see the light at the end of the tunnel first hand, for letting us experience what no amount of research can give, and for showing us what no doctor would ever be able to explain!
Bob's wife's name is Katie, and their one month old is named Lila. Meeting with them at their home was an incredible and invaluable experience. It turns out Bob, Katie, and Lila all had the same doctors at the same facilities Joe and I will have. So what Joe and I will be facing in a couple of weeks, they just faced a month ago. We learned so much from them! They were so informative, helpful, and caring! They showed us pictures of Lila hooked up to all the tubes and monitors so we could prepare ourselves for the really scary parts. They explained what was particularly difficult, what wasn't that bad, and what was amazing. We got to see Lila in person, where her incisions were and how everything looks when they're healing. We got to see how Bob and Katie handle her safely... How to hold her, lay her down, feed her.
But the most valuable thing we learned from them is that, yes, she has spina bifida, but she's still just another baby. After the scary stuff is over, you still take her home, you still hold her, you still feed her, change her diaper, sing her lullabies, tickle her feet, kiss her nose! We learned that she's just another baby, just like any other baby, and that spina bifida is only a very small part of the big picture... that there's so much more to focus on... that even with her conditions, life will turn into something normal again even though it feels like our lives are about to be turned upside down and inside out.
Joe and I agreed that while we are in the hospitals, we will actively make sure we remember our visit to Bob and Katie's home, and that things will be normal soon. We'll remember little Lila, and that there will be life outside of the hospitals and the surgeries and frightening experiences we'll be in the middle of. We'll remember that, like beautiful Lila, Mira will have our home to be in, and her own bed to sleep in, and a whole life waiting for her outside of the initial shock of her surgeries... That just like any other baby, there is so much more waiting! So thank you, Bob and Katie, for letting us see the light at the end of the tunnel first hand, for letting us experience what no amount of research can give, and for showing us what no doctor would ever be able to explain!
Birthday Blessing
My appointment this week with the high risk OB's went well. Tammy and I took a tour of the maternity ward and were walked through how the c-section will go. We had many questions answered... One of those is when we will be delivering. The answer is miraculous! We will be having Mira on April 17th at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. April 17th is my birthday, a day I will now share with my beautiful little miracle for the rest of our lives!
This will undoubtedly be the most emotional birthday of my life. The most amazing gift I will ever get on my birthday will be my child. I can't imagine a better present. But I also have to prepare myself because, while I will be receiving this wonderful gift, I will also be facing having her taken from me immediately to go get her surgery while I wait through, what I'm sure will be, the most difficult time in my life. The time when my daughter's life is placed in the hands of a surgical team while I wait in a completely different hospital for news from Joe.
I'm trying to prepare myself for the impossible to understand emotional roller coaster that will occur that day. The unexplainable love and bliss one feels when seeing their baby for the first time, that moment when you thought you'd loved before, but are proven so wrong when you see that little life you made from scratch, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen is when I saw my children for the first time... You can actually feel your heart grow bigger to try to contain all the love you possess. It's amazing and I can't wait to feel that again for my new little miracle. But now I'm trying to prepare myself for something I haven't felt before when having a baby... the feeling of having them taken, separated from you, to go to a completely different location, away from me, to have surgery that will dictate the rest of her life. I can't imagine how that will feel and I hurt already for those that have ever experienced what I'm about to face. I can't imagine waiting... Just waiting because that's all you can do, for news of my daughters outcome from surgery. I'm sure it will almost kill me. But then, another roller coaster of emotion hits, because I also can't imagine how happy I'll be when Joe calls me to say our daughter is out of surgery and everything went great! The relief and happiness I'll be flooded with when I get a post-op picture, and get to see that she's okay! ---Wow... I just truly can't imagine all the feelings I will experience on my birthday this year. So I will prepare as best I can, and once again, thank God that I'm not doing this alone. Joe and Tammy will be there every step of the way for Mira and myself while we both experience the most important birthdays of our lives!
This will undoubtedly be the most emotional birthday of my life. The most amazing gift I will ever get on my birthday will be my child. I can't imagine a better present. But I also have to prepare myself because, while I will be receiving this wonderful gift, I will also be facing having her taken from me immediately to go get her surgery while I wait through, what I'm sure will be, the most difficult time in my life. The time when my daughter's life is placed in the hands of a surgical team while I wait in a completely different hospital for news from Joe.
I'm trying to prepare myself for the impossible to understand emotional roller coaster that will occur that day. The unexplainable love and bliss one feels when seeing their baby for the first time, that moment when you thought you'd loved before, but are proven so wrong when you see that little life you made from scratch, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen is when I saw my children for the first time... You can actually feel your heart grow bigger to try to contain all the love you possess. It's amazing and I can't wait to feel that again for my new little miracle. But now I'm trying to prepare myself for something I haven't felt before when having a baby... the feeling of having them taken, separated from you, to go to a completely different location, away from me, to have surgery that will dictate the rest of her life. I can't imagine how that will feel and I hurt already for those that have ever experienced what I'm about to face. I can't imagine waiting... Just waiting because that's all you can do, for news of my daughters outcome from surgery. I'm sure it will almost kill me. But then, another roller coaster of emotion hits, because I also can't imagine how happy I'll be when Joe calls me to say our daughter is out of surgery and everything went great! The relief and happiness I'll be flooded with when I get a post-op picture, and get to see that she's okay! ---Wow... I just truly can't imagine all the feelings I will experience on my birthday this year. So I will prepare as best I can, and once again, thank God that I'm not doing this alone. Joe and Tammy will be there every step of the way for Mira and myself while we both experience the most important birthdays of our lives!
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