About Me

United States
My fiance (Joe) and I (Caytie) just delivered our third child. We have a son named Dustin, age 4, a daughter named Aryanna, age 1, and our new little bundle's name is Mira, and she has been diagnosed with spina bifida. She has a myelomeningocele, a chiari malformation, hydrocephalus, and a club foot. She had surgery the day after she was born on her myelomeningocele, and surgery when she was 6 days old to place a shunt in her brain. She is facing more surgeries, a lifetime of recovery and monitoring, and we will all be facing the journey of spina bifida. Prayers and kind thoughts are always welcome, and if our story can help others, that would mean the world to us. Spina bifida is a fairly common birth defect, but there's nothing normal about facing potential danger with your child. So this is our story, the journey of spina bifida, as we live it.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Scared to Sleep

With Mira clearly having problems, and not knowing the cause of those problems, I'm scared to even sleep. What if I'm asleep when her condition worsens? What if I sleep away the window of opportunity one has to get help when a shunt malfunctions?
This is why last night I slept with a stethoscope in my ears, listening to her breathing. This is why I only got a total of three hours of sleep last night. And this is why I can't bring myself to crawl into bed now. Because I'm afraid to go to sleep and take my eyes and awareness off of her.
Tonight, while I was eating dinner with the kids, I got a call from children's hospital OR scheduling team to confirm Mira's shunt surgery on Friday morning. Problem is, Joe and I were never informed that Mira is scheduled for surgery, let alone that it was even on the table. Now I have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out what exactly is going on. Does she need surgery? Did they find something on her scans that indicates a problem with her shunt? And why the hell was OR staff informed of my daughter's possibly surgical condition before I was?
We've been on high alert since yesterday. Watching everything she does. Looking for any symptom known correlated with spina bifida, hydrocephalus, chiari, or shunt problems. We've been logging everything. How much she eats, how much she urinates and poops, cath volumes, head circumference, and neurological deficit indicators. She has seemed okay, but something still seems off.
Then tonight, as our pediatric nurse was leaving, Mira vomited all over the both of them. Not spit up... Threw up. This could be one of two things... She is adjusting to the prune juice we've been having to give her,or her shunt is malfunctioning. She is sleeping now, but I'm watching her and checking her constantly.
If anything, and I mean absolutely anything, makes me lean towards shunt malfunction, I will be calling an ambulance and demanding that a paramedic escorts Mira to children's hospital. If I think she is encountering a problem, I will not wait until Thursday morning for her to be seen, assessed, and treated, because with shunt malfunctions, Thursday morning could be too late. I'm not putting my daughter's life on the line for scheduling purposes. So it's high alert time! Every neuron and nerve ending in my body is standing at attention! And I'm scared to death to fall asleep.
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